White Lies: My Best and Worst QualityDavid - About Relationships - July 17, 2020
When people ask "What is your worst trait?", what's your answer? Anyway, you're a liar and so am I. You and I tell lies, be it for good or bad reasons. In my case, I tell white lies. These are the lies I tell when I feel my interlocutor can't stomach the harsh truth.
And the more I talk about white lies, the more I question myself. Is it bad to tell white lies? Is it really lying? What does it tell about me? Maybe these are some of the questions you've already asked yourself.
Let's figure that out together. In this article I'll try to answer all the above questions using my own perspective.
I Tell White Lies to Protect My People
No matter what I have to say, if it hurts, I can't tell it. To you, it may sound like a huge flaw. Yet in reality, I'd ask, why would you hurt anyone if that's not necessary? Why would you inflict pain upon your people for the sake of truth?
As a sincere and honest guy, hiding the truth is already a huge thing for me. Be it small or big, I hate lying. But what I hate even more is causing pain and sadness to the people I love.
I'd rather suffer from hiding the truth, than seeing others suffer from the harsh reality.
From this viewpoint, I can't see how white lies are a bad thing. Yet inside of me, I can't help but wonder what my relationships would be like without these. What would it be like if I had made the decision to speak my truth, and possibly hurt my people instead of trying to protect them? All in all, am I just being dishonest?
It's Not All About Good Intentions Though
I strongly believe that good intentions are the base upon which healthy and robust relationships build. However, how far can one go for the sake of good intentions?
It is not a bad behavior in itself to try to protect the people we love. But it raises several issues:
How can we know if the truth will hurt to the point we'd better hide it?
Why would we even stay with people we fear hurting?
Is there any point in entertaining relationships with people we can't openly talk with?
In my opinion, these are many questions anyone should address and think of before telling white lies. It is extremely hard to lie, but it's probably even harder to have all these thoughts weigh on your mind.
White Lies Ain't Perfectly White or Black
There's no perfect mindset nor behavior. We all have different moral values and abilities. I think the most important is dealing with people in moderation.
In other words, don't spend your whole life telling white lies. If you are serious about a specific relationship, speak your truth regardless of its hurtability. Likewise, make some efforts to spare the ones you feel too fragile to handle your words. Strike a balance.
What's Your Opinion About White Lies?
Are you more likely to lie in order to protect people? Or would you rather tell the truth no matter the outcome? I'm sure we all have tight rules and thoughts about that. Please feel free to let us know what's your way to deal with it in the comments.
Most importantly, would you forgive someone who's white-lied to you?