6 Sure-Fire Steps to Resolve Conflicts With Your Partner

David - About Relationships - September 13, 2020

Make sure you're well-seated, here's a jaw-dropping stat.

According to this reputable survey, the second most common factor for divorce is couples' inability to resolve conflicts.

Can you relate?

Resolving conflicts is hard, especially when it's about the person we love. Fortunately, I made this article in which I'll give you my battle-tested steps to resolve conflicts with your significant other.

6 Sure-Fire Steps to Resolve Conflicts With Your Partner - Illustration - Picture

Step-by-Step Guide to Resolve Conflicts With Your Partner

Here's a step-by-step approach to resolve the conflict you're having with your significant other:

Wait. Did I mention that I gave this list to my best friend? Wait a second. And did I tell you that it worked? The day after, they reconciled.

  1. Remain silent: At the beginning, you'd better say nothing. You haven't had enough time to assess what's going on, and you can't possibly know what to do to bring peace back. The power of silence in an argument is huge. It prevents anyone from saying things they don't mean, and from hurting each other.

  2. Cut to the chase and apologize no matter what: Tell your significant other that you're sorry for what's happening. Insist on the fact that right now you'll remain silent to prevent the situation from worsening, but that, anyway, you're sorry and you wish the situation gets better as soon as possible. Even if you think that it's not your fault and you're not responsible for what's happening, apologize. Most of the time, we hurt people unwittingly. It's okay. Let go of your ego and spread some nice positive vibes.

  3. Focus on the big picture: Let's say that your significant other has messed up really bad. Is it something that is so extremely bad that you'll break up? Is it so bad that it erases everything you've lived together? Is it so bad that it makes all the happiness in your relationship null and void? Love is almost always worth all the thinking and conflicts. Try to forgive and move on. One stupid conflict isn't a proper reason to break up.

  4. Know yourself and your partner: Think about it. Do you know your partner? Obviously, there are multiple degrees to which you know each other. But do you know at least that this person loves you regardless of what's happening? And does this person know that the opposite's true as well? If your relationship is based on honesty, engagement, and truly loving each other, there really is nothing to worry about.

  5. Live your best life: Order a pizza, wait for it, then enjoy it while watching Netflix. Don't forget the beers, and keep fresh ice cream for the dessert. In other words, chill out. Have a nice time, and don't overthink what's happening. We suffer more from imagination than from reality. Hence do everything it takes for you to think about something else. And avoid making it worse by thinking about all the negative things that could happen. Just forget about it, and be positive.

  6. Come back and communicate: Now that you're relaxed, thoughtful, self-aware, partner-aware, and calm, talk about what's happened. Do everything you can to untangle the situation, and have a proper conversation with your lovely partner. Now that you've collected your thoughts, you can talk and put everything on the table. Keep calm, and resolve your conflict.

6 Sure-Fire Steps to Resolve Conflicts With Your Partner - Illustration - Picture

Additional Resources

Conflicts occur in other contexts, such as in the workplace, at school, at home, etc. I wrote quite a lot about conflict resolution, check these out:

Classical Conditioning in Conflict Resolution

The 3 Most Important Facets of Conflict Resolution

The 3 Most Important Facets of Conflict Resolution

Resolve Your Conflicts Using the Avatar Method

The Power of Silence in Conflict Resolution

If there's anything else that you'd like to read about, let me know in the comments.

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