Self-Love Is Not Selfish: Love Yourself Without GuiltDavid - About Mindset - April 30, 2019
This article goes about self-love, the reasons why it is not selfish, and solid arguments to demonstrate its role in making you happier. By reading this article, you will feel more confident and more comfortable with loving yourself.
You will never ever be ashamed to state clearly how passionate you are with yourself. And how good it feels to be your own everyday partner.
Before we start, self-love is different from narcissism and egomania.
1. Would It Be Selfish to Love Your Significant Other?
No, because every relationship involves at least two individuals, who are in love with each other.
Therefore, what would happen if you were your own significant other? There would be no difference. You have the right to love yourself.
There seems to be a taboo about loving oneself because it was not made popular until spirituality and self-help flourished. Regardless of the technical aspect, I believe there is no problem in being your own partner while leaving room for someone else, whom you could love as much as yourself.
Side note: According to me, a transition is happening and more and more people are opened toward self-love in general. It is becoming less of a weird concept.
Worth to mention: I read once: "Everyone always asks if everything is okay. But no one ever asks if you are having a good relationship with yourself." I think it is well put.
2. Self-Love Does Not Exclude Humility and Altruism
You are free to love your partner and still help other people. There is no correlation between self-love and selfishness. Nothing keeps you from being generous and lending a hand to people who need it.
Think of it this way: Would you say that finding yourself attractive in front of a mirror makes you a selfish individual? Of course not. It does not make sense.
Love is not an exclusive emotion. You can love yourself, your relatives, your other significant other, and everyone else at the same time. Love is expressed and felt in various ways, depending on the relationship you entertain with each and every person.
Loving yourself is not about showing off and telling everybody how good and smart you are. Loving yourself is the powerful inner feeling of happiness that comes with the comfort of feeling at peace with yourself.
There is a large gap between arrogance and self-love. Arrogance is expressed through an exaggerated sense of one's own importance. Self-love is personal and untold. It is inside you.
Self-love is not something you show. It is something you feel on a daily basis.
3. Self-Love Is Inherent to Happiness
There are numerous definitions of happiness. Yet I believe, we all agree on the fact that loving yourself can only have a positive effect on yourself. Instead of feeling bad about yourself.
On the one hand, feeling bad about yourself is a torture which leads to self-loathing. On a daily basis, it turns into an endless journey of morosity and depression. Nonetheless, it can push you to outdo yourself and reach insane goals. It is well-known. For many people, frustration and sadness drive to success because the victims cannot stand their situation any longer. They are willing to give up on all they have to improve themselves and exit their emotional prison.
On the other hand, loving yourself makes you feel better. It prevents you from worrying about your appearance, your thoughts, and your feelings. It is relieving and it keeps bad vibes out of your mind. Loving yourself clears all the anxiety related to self-esteem, which is a significant factor of depression.
Worth to mention: Self-love requires balance. Excessive self-confidence, for instance, is one of many self-love's pitfalls to avoid.
4. Self-Love Teaches How to Love Other People
There is a misconception about love. Everyone assumes love is a natural feeling we all go through, and we all know how to handle and act upon it.
The reality is, not everyone knows how to love and how to show love.
We were not all born in a peaceful and loving environment. Hence, we do not share common thoughts and visions of what is love, how important it is, and how to express it.
That is why self-love is such a good starting point. By loving yourself and by learning how to care for someone you truly care about (yourself), you teach yourself how to behave with people you love most.
Self-love teaches you to love people better. It is the opposite of selfishness.
What's Your Story?
Back when I was young, I had no other choice but to have a strong relationship with myself. I used to be shy and introvert, and it kept me from making friends. As a result, I learned to love myself, to talk with myself, and to account for having an atypical relationship with myself.
Not that I had mental issues or any other kind of disorder. I only had had the luck to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, talking with myself. I learned to accept my feelings and opinions, no matter how unpopular they were. And this long period of loneliness taught me that, having someone I could rely on even when the whole world was falling apart was my strength. I learned to be there for myself, in every situation.
I'd love to know what you've been through, and it could help and motivate other readers. Leave your story in the comments!
I'm a shy girl at the age of 17, I feel like I'm different from everyone because I have ADHD, autophobia, autism, and maybe social anxiety. I feel like I'm alone in this world, and I have a hard time making friends in my junior year at high school. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going insane, but I built up some courage to type this and to speak my mind, even if it is a bit crazy.
Thanks, I needed to hear this today! I really struggle with getting over that totally crazy guilt that comes with taking time for myself. But I know that when I do, and really focus on loving myself, all those around me feel the benefits.
I can definitely relate to the crazy guilt thing! Thanks for your comment Amie.
Great read! Self-love is very important. More people need to read posts like this.
Thank you very much Amanda!
Thanks for sharing your story! Self-love is 100% not selfish because how can you keep giving if you're always feeling depleted, right? And as you said, it's a way to show others how you want to be treated. You are establishing boundaries when you treat yourself like you are your own best friend. I'm introverted like you and I've learnt to sit in with my thoughts and my feelings alone, and I've come to enjoy it overtime. These days if I need to practise self-love, I do mindfulness exercises to truly listen to my thoughts. Or I daydream :)
Thanks for your sincere feedback Corinne! I like the fact that you've learned to sit alone and enjoy your feelings and thoughts.
Love your story. Self love is so key but many of us struggle.
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks a lot Katy.