If You Keep Asking For Help, You’ll Never Succeed

David - About Lifestyle - July 02, 2020

Don't get me wrong. We've all been asking for help at least once. And we made the right decision, saving us countless hours. Yet I still believe asking for help should be a last resort.

Help yourself before asking for help.

That's my philosophy. And in this article, I'll tell you how actual self-help can turn you into a much better version of yourself while making you more skilled and more autonomous.

Table of Contents
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Asking for Help When You Haven't Even Tried Yourself: Backstory

I'd be lying if I told you I wrote this article out of the blue. In reality, I had no intention to talk about this specific topic until a friend of mine asked me to code his next billion-dollar project.

Long story short, he spent half an hour daydreaming while talking about his idea. In the meantime, I supported him and tried to bring my insight even though I was clearly not his ideal target. I just remained positive.

And then, an hour later, he's finally tried to close the deal.

-- Hey, I was thinking about this for a long time. And hmm...

-- Sure, ask me anything.

-- Let's say I work really hard on this project and set up everything.

-- I see you coming...

-- Would you help me? Or do you know someone who could help me?

I kept my cool, and I gently explained to him why I wouldn't help him nor find anyone willing to do so. Now this article will summarize what I told him, and why self-help is so much more beneficial than requested-help.

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Help Yourself Before Asking Anything

You've gotta practice and fail a lot if you want to learn anything in your life. It is through failure and active research that you'll get new skills and knowledge.

It is absolutely crucial that, before asking for help, you try on your own at least two to three times. Not only will it make you more autonomous, but it will also strengthen your mindset and help you remember everything you've learned much better.

We tend to remember what we understand and what we struggle with.

Why would you even ask for someone else's time if you can't spend your own working on your projects? You could take a shortcut and solve your problems much faster by asking somebody to help you. But what will you learn doing that? How dependent will you be afterwards? And then, how will you handle the situation when the person who's helped you ain't there?

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You Can Help Yourself Even If You're Not an Expert in Your Field

-- I can't do it. I need technical skills.

-- I can't do that neither. I'm not an artist.

Being a developer myself, this is the number one excuse I hear people say when they ask me to code their moonshot. Lucky me, I can also design products and websites using specific tools. Yet it doesn't entitle me to help anyone looking for a nerdy artist.

It's taken me forever to learn all these skills, and I love sharing knowledge. Yet I'll only help people willing to put in the efforts and lead their project from the beginning until the end.

If everything's too much for you, don't bother doing anything at all. Do not expect people to achieve your dreams while giving you all the rewards. This is my personal opinion. Either you work hard and do all you can to pave your own path, or you stay where you are.

Above all, you don't have to be an expert in any field to start a new project and make it real. Even more now than before, there are many free online tools that let you code, design, create, and shape ideas easily. And even if you believe that an expert would do it better than you, you're right. However, most company founders were not experts. They hired experts when they were already skyrocketing.

Give yourself a try, and learn along the way. You will progressively get new skills and become more diversified.

You could even turn yourself into a one-person company. You don't need to be an expert to create fully-fledged projects.

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Feel Free to Ask for Help Only When You've Done Your Job

If you manage to push yourself to the limit, and you have a proper base to work on, then you can ask for help. Someone who's more experienced will tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly about the way you pulled everything off.

Someone who can truly see how hard you've been working on your project will also be more likely to help you and give you exclusive tips and tricks to enhance your work. We all like to encourage and support motivated people who work hard to reach their goals.

Even if you managed to build something you're very proud of, keep yourself from acting overconfident. Humility and composure are appreciated, and these traits help you absorb knowledge better.

Open yourself to criticism and constructive feedback.

If You Really Need Help, Don't Hesitate

There are certain fields you just can't put your hands on. That's life, and you need to accept that you can't handle absolutely everything on your own. For some people, it will be computer science. For others, it will be singing. There are many things you can learn. But some of these will remain out of reach for a moment.

Don't hesitate to take classes. And ask for help if you have friends who know a field better than you. If you've been working really hard, and you still can't reach your goals in a specific area, ask for help. There's nothing wrong with having difficulties.

For me, drawing and painting still remain huge obstacles. I'd love to be able to draw all the crazy things that come to my mind, yet every time I grab a pen, it gets impossible.

What about you? Have you ever tried to learn something new on your own? Have you ever felt the need for asking someone's help or for taking classes? Let me know in the comments, I'd be glad to read your story.

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Anonymous Reader

woaw, what an article David! Thank you for your feedback. The true thing is that most of the time it takes more time to explain what you want than try until you succeed. yet it's easier for our mind I guess ;) bye

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