How to Drop Your Ego Before It Takes All OverDavid - About Mindset - August 02, 2020
Most people associate ego with selfishness. And they aren't wrong. But there's more. There is vulnerability, fear, envy, and self-sabotage.
These are all the topics we'll cover in this article. We'll see how ego plays in social interactions and conflicts, and how it impacts the relationship we have with ourselves.
Let's jump in!
Ego Won't Let me Sell - Backstory
Believe it or not, I have once worked as a door-to-door sales rep. It was obviously nerve-wracking for the shy guy I used to be, but it helped me overcome shyness once and for all.
Now I'll tell you what's the real deal about this job.
At the very beginning, I was extremely anxious. Every new door was terrorizing, and it was extremely hard to go beyond my inner fears. Lucky me, I had Chris. This awesome manager who had done it for the last ten years. And he used to say "These guys can literally insult me, I don't care. I make fun of it. Let's do it together, you'll see."
It wasn't until I actually got insulted that I understood his saying. What was keeping me from feeling cool and relaxed at this job was my ego. I was afraid of being hurt, looked down on, mocked, insulted, and so on. Hence when Chris let me no other choice but to face reality, I realized it was more of a laughable situation than anything else.
Don't get me wrong. The very first time I got insulted, I was both shocked and mortified. The next time, I laughed hard and moved on to the next door.
Let's see what ego is all about, and how to put it aside in order to enjoy life and people better.
What Is Ego?
Ego relates to one's sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-importance. And it comes in many shapes and forms.
Ego is this little voice that talks inside of your head when you disagree with somebody. It tells you to fight and impose your idea on your counterpart because it hates having to apologize and being wrong.
Ego is also this feeling in your stomach when you're nervous and worried about an upcoming event. It petrifies you and makes you feel like you won't be able to achieve anything.
Ego is also this other voice that tells you how mean and nasty people are. It makes you fear criticism to the point you keep doing nothing to avoid it.
Last but not least, ego is this guy in your mind that keeps telling you that you're not working hard enough. And no matter what you achieve, it's never up to his expectations.
It's good to have ambitions, self-esteem, and a sense of self-worth. But it shouldn't be so high that it becomes an obstacle in your life.
Take each sentence:
Compared to others' work, mine isn't good enough.
He can't be right, I am absolutely convinced of what I am saying. And this jerk must be wrong.
It's not good enough. What I did isn't as good as I would like it to be.
This is ego talking to you. Let's see how to put it aside.
How to Ditch Your Ego
You have to embrace failure and criticism repeatedly. That's all. It will help you build humility, and be more open-minded while diminishing your aversion to risk.
It is only when you undergo multiple failures and defeats that you understand there's nothing wrong with not winning all the time. You'll come to realize that failures and obstacles shape your mindset and help you go beyond your limits.
And the more you put your ego aside to try something new and expose yourself, the more you get used to it. Eventually, you become more open to new experiences, and less sensitive to people's judgments and criticism.
to new experiences.
Dive right in without overthinking the situation.
And expose yourself.
These are the three attitudes you should adopt to ditch your ego and better enjoy your life and your beloved ones.
Remember there's nothing wrong with failing or not being the world's leader.
Just do your thing, and let other people criticize it.
This way, you'll improve and learn from anybody.