Escape the Success Race: Stop Self-Sabotaging and Comparing

David - About Mindset - July 24, 2020

The more I meet entrepreneurs, the more I think of myself as an utter failure. It's not like I hate it when I'm surrounded by successful people who enjoy their lives. On the contrary, it inspires me and makes me happy for their achievements.

But it makes me feel like I haven't made it yet. I haven't reached my goals nor made tons of profits. As to my expectations, I'm alright, and I feel good about myself. Yet when I meet so many successful people, it feels like my personal achievements are zilch.

Somehow, people's huge victories make mine look tiny.
Have you ever felt like that?

That's a concern I'll address in this article. How to escape the success race? How to stop feeling anxious about your projects? How to stop self-sabotaging when comparing with others? Let's find out.

Escape the Success Race: Stop Self-Sabotaging and Comparing - Illustration - Picture

What's in Other People's Success That Makes Us Feel Small and Anxious?

Whenever I meet a successful entrepreneur, I can't help but acknowledge how far I am from my goals, as opposed to my interlocutor. I really like to be positive, but it's hard to face the distance that separates me from my ambitions. If you've been thinking about that for quite a long time, let me tell you why comparing with others entitles you to self-sabotage:

  1. You're trying to compare meat with tofu: Sure, they're both edible. But is there any point in comparing two completely different things like they were similar if they're not? Let's say you are trying to bootstrap a cleaning business. Does it make sense to compare yourself with Bill Gates? Before comparing yourself with anyone, make sure you're on the same playing field. It's very easy to self-sabotage when comparing with successful people. Hence don't make it worse by comparing yourself with the wrong ones.

  2. You're trying to instant-boil water: Have you ever asked yourself how hard it's been for your interlocutor to reach their goals? Obviously, you'll hear about successful people when they reach the top. But what about the long climb? The falls along the path? Do not forget that everybody once started from the bottom and made it to the top. We tend to think about success without ever thinking about all the failures, years of work, and sacrifices. And you're no exception.

  3. You're trying to cook without recipes: There's a high chance you're just starting and you know virtually nothing about the whole environment around you and your project. Have you ever considered reaching out to a professional for help? Have you ever thought about the experience you need? You might forget where people come from, what they're experienced in, and how much they have worked in a specific field before becoming the leaders they are. There's hardly any way you could work as well and as fast as somebody who's studied their business for years. You need time and knowledge to potentially be comparable to anybody else in your field.

To me, self-sabotage entitles to failure. It is a state of mind you must avoid to remain mentally healthy and motivated. Let's find out how to stop self-sabotaging when comparing ourselves with others.

Escape the Success Race: Stop Self-Sabotaging and Comparing - Illustration - Picture

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging When Comparing Yourself With Others?

As we've seen previously, it's quite easy to mess with your perception of other people to the point you end up feeling bad about yourself and your projects.

To stop self-sabotaging, follow these rules of thumb:

  1. Do not compare at all: Simple yet powerful. Successful people should inspire and motivate you to go further. Take tips, guides, and tricks coming from these people, but do not compare yourself with them. It's pointless. The people you admire should be your launchpad, not obstacles.

  2. Do not set sky-high expectations for yourself: If your project is to climb a mountain, why would you start with Mount Everest? You'd better go with small mountains first, and progressively increase the difficulty as you get better and more experienced. You can't reach high goals overnight. You must set small goals that, eventually, will lead you to the top.

  3. Stop binge-watching your idols: If you spend the whole time admiring the achievements of others, you spend none working on yours. The consequences are twofold. First, you're wasting your time. Second, you're looking at what your life could look like. And that will make you feel anxious as you realize how far you are from your dreams. Keep your hands off Instagram.

Try to remember these 3 points as often as possible. It's easy to forget about your personal achievements and feel bad when comparing with others. Just realize where you come from, how hard you've been working, and how much you've achieved so far.

What About You?

Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever sabotaged yourself for not working hard enough? Have you ever had an idol who made you feel so tiny that it made you decide to just stop trying hard?

Let us know!

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Kelvin Reader

A great post! Thanks again for sharing your insight. I needed to read this today, being surrounded by so many successful people ended up making me feel bad about myself. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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David M. Author

You're welcome Kelvin! I'm glad you liked this article. Sure, you're not the only one in this situation.

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