Build up Your Self-Confidence: The No-Fluff Approach

David - About Mindset - April 20, 2019

In my opinion, the lack of self-confidence is the disease of the century. More and more people are afraid of being looked down on and rejected. Hence, they never have the courage to stand by their points and undertake the projects they dream of.

I have been through self-confidence issues, and I worked hard to overcome this hurdle and improve my well-being. This article will give you all the keys I learned to become bolder and more self-confident. It is designed to provide you with practical exercises which you can try right after reading.

Prepare yourself, and get ready to take massive action. The given exercises will have a dramatic impact on your life if you have a lack of self-confidence.

Table of Contents
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Practice Self-Affirmation

What you say, what you hear, and what you see have a direct impact on how you feel. Hearing compliments, taking dominant stances, and seeing yourself in a good situation trigger hormones (like testosterone) which make you feel better and stronger.


1. Stand up and watch yourself in front of a mirror, taking dominant stances.

2. Speak out loud bold statements to compliment yourself and describe how you feel about yourself in a positive way.

3. Have a conversation with yourself about something that recently made you feel great.

Practice these three steps, even if it sounds awkward at the beginning.

The goal is to make you love yourself again. The major issue with self-confidence is that once you lose it, you lock yourself in a negative loop which makes you think you are bad, not strong enough, not smart enoough, and so on. The goal of these exercises is to make you exit this negative loop by working on your hormones and your mind.

Examples of statements:

  • Not only can I do it, but I will do it and I will succeed.

  • I am wonderful today.

  • I am surprised and I feel grateful for how smart and how good I am at what I do.

These statements are meant to be formulated when you have a conversation with yourself. If you do not like these, feel free to have your own. Compliment yourself.

Build up Your Self-Confidence: The No-Fluff Approach - Illustration - Picture

Play a Sport

The positive effects of playing sports were demonstrated but, here's my take on it.

1. It keeps you from thinking too much as it requires physical and mental focus. Hence it relieves stress and anxiety, and it clears your mind.

2. It keeps you in good shape and it triggers hormones (endorphins) that make you feel relaxed and happy. By consequence, it makes you feel more attractive (and confident) as you take care of your appearance and gradually get ripped.

3. It builds up your self-confidence as you progress and observe the results of your hard work as you train more and more.

4. If you play as a team, you make friends and improve your ability to interact socially by relying on others, and letting others rely on you during each training.

5. It stimulates your brain. As you practice more and more, your muscular awareness increases and your neurons establish more connections.

These are many reasons among which more and more people go to the gym. They want to feel better in their body, and so can you. Self-confidence builds upon visual self-acceptance. If you like your body and feel comfortable with watching it in the mirror, you will increase your self-confidence in the glance of an eye.

Worth to mention: Gym is not everything. Find a sport you like and, enjoy playing it.

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Take Initiatives

Nothing is more satisfying than undertaking a project and overcoming the obstacles that come with it. It is a process that makes you learn a lot and that boosts your "social value" as others perceive you as determined and willing to take actions for what you are interested in.

1. Volunteer for an organization. As you help people, you feel better with yourself, and the persons you help express their gratefulness. It makes you feel useful and valuable.

2. Develop a business idea. Gather good resources online, and try to start a small business upon these. Face customers and try to sell your products/services. It does not have to be a blockbuster. Just make a product you feel confident selling using your own skills (computer science, drawing, music, recording, wood-working, jewels, etc), and promote it to your friends and relatives.

3. Apply for jobs you would like to approach in the future. You can actually make fake resumes and check which step of the recruitment process you can reach. It will tell you about your net worth on the market and teach you how to sell yourself and convince people to trust you. Gradually reaching higher steps will build up your self-confidence.

4. Slowly but surely, help people around you. Use your skills to help others for free. Hold the door open, push disabled people in a wheelchair, donate money for an organization, buy a snack for a homeless. There are many ways to make you feel better while making others' day.

The most important thing in this section is: Make the decision to step out of your comfort zone and work hard to reach your goals. It is daunting but rewarding, and it will teach you life lessons which you can only learn by putting yourself all in.

Build up Your Self-Confidence: The No-Fluff Approach - Illustration - Picture

Fix Your Speech and Body Language

1. Speak louder and slower. Let people hear what you have to say. Shy people and individuals who lack self-confidence have a tendency to speak fast and low, to escape the conversation/social confrontation. Defend your points of view using a crystal clear loud voice. Not only does it allow for better conversations, but it also shows you are not trying to avoid social interactions.

2. Uncross your arms, make eye contact, and smile. You have to look approachable if you want others to feel comfortable with hanging out with you. To do so, you must get rid of the invisible barrier you put between you and other people with your unconscious body language.

You Are Not Alone

As you may have read at the beginning, I sincerely believe that lacking self-confidence is the disease of the century. Many people suffer from it and this is your chance. You might build relationships by exposing your weaknesses to people having the same as yours. Do not stick with the idea that you are bound to fail.

Take massive action, practice what you learn, and your self-confidence will skyrocket.

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Angélique Olivia Moreau Reader

I really appreciate the section on volunteering and showing initiative. Working on your passions is a wonderful way to connect with like-minded people, gain self-confidence and move forward in life.

David M. Author

Thanks a lot Angélique!

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